Am I Highly Sensitive, Introverted, an Empath, or Shy?
Have you ever been criticized for being too sensitive or had your emotional reactions brushed off as insignificant? Do you find yourself feeling exhausted after being around others? Or experiencing changes in your environment? Perhaps you’ve been told more than once that you are overly sensitive.
Despite being overwhelmed at times, you’ve learned to adapt and cope. Maybe you learned to keep your inner thoughts to yourself, avoid social situations, and dismiss your own emotional needs.
You May Have Previously Struggled With They Way You Feel
You might have struggled to comprehend why you feel the way you do - why am I so emotionally sensitive? Why do I get affected by other people's feelings so easily? This can lead you to believe that there's something wrong with you. But in reality, you possess the well-established and innate trait of sensitivity.
Rather than being a disorder or disability, this heightened sensitivity can be viewed as a valuable asset with the right comprehension and adaptive coping mechanisms. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), also known as having a higher level of sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), you possess a greater sensitivity than the majority of the population.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Highly sensitive persons possess a greater sensitivity to their environment. Their brains process and reflect on information more deeply. They tend to be socially inhibited by nature and prefer their rich inner world to the external world. Because HSPs take in more information, they are more prone to overstimulation or overarousal of the nervous system. It's essential to understand that sensitivity is an innate, not a learned, trait.
Research conducted by Dr. Elaine Aron and her team has demonstrated that the highly sensitive trait is present in about 20-30% of the population, including humans and animals. This finding suggests that there might be an evolutionary advantage to the trait. It's possible that individuals are more aware of changes in their surroundings. Such as sounds, sights, and air quality, played a crucial role in their tribes, acting as the proverbial canary in the coal mine.
Dr. Aron uses the acronym DOES to summarize the key aspects of high sensitivity:
D – Depth of Processing
O – Overstimulation
E – Emotional Reactivity
S – Sensing the Subtle
What is an Empath?
Empaths are individuals who possess a heightened sense of empathy and are often highly sensitive. They excel in their ability to process information deeply. Particularly in relation to emotions. Empaths have a natural talent for attuning themselves to the feelings of others. Often experiencing a "sixth sense" for unspoken dynamics within groups or between individuals.
Sometimes, empaths describe profound and intuitive experiences that do not have a direct or clear explanation outside of the spiritual or mystical. This depth of processing occurs on an unconscious level. It is closely connected to the emotions of others and the world around them.
Empaths Become Overwhelmed By The Emotions Of Those Around Them
Empaths are known for their remarkable ability to provide insights into both themselves and others. However, their heightened sensitivity means they can easily become overwhelmed by the emotions of those around them. Without actively protecting themselves, empaths may feel and carry the burden of other people's emotions more readily than most.
It is crucial for empaths to learn self-care strategies to prevent emotional exhaustion. Such as setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that help them recharge. When managed properly, an empath's sensitivity can become a powerful asset. Allowing them to provide deep insights and empathetic understanding to those around them.
An empath may not always have a ready explanation for their feelings. Perhaps they feel a heaviness or great depth of sadness. Only to find out later about the grief and loss recently experienced by a friend or coworker. Dr. Judith Orlof a leading author on the subject notes that empaths "actually feel others' emotions, energy, and physical symptoms in our own bodies, without the usual defenses that most people have."
Empaths vs Highly Sensitive People - Are They The Same?
While some empaths are HSPs and some HSPs are empaths, they are not exactly the same. As noted above, the concept of an “empath” is one that is popularly defined. But does not currently have an academic or research-based definition. As such, it is a population that has not been empirically studied and compared to the highly sensitive person population.
The trait of empathy, on the other hand, does have a well-established research-basis and has been extensively studied in psychology and neuroscience. There are various definitions and models of empathy proposed by researchers.
One commonly accepted definition of empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This definition includes both cognitive empathy, which involves the ability to understand another person's emotions, and emotional empathy, which involves feeling the same or similar emotions as another person.
Empathy Exists Along a Spectrum
Current research shows that empathy, like sensitivity, exists along a spectrum, with some individuals displaying more empathic traits than others. Someone who is called or identifies as an empath usually falls on the higher end of the spectrum. In this way, someone who identifies as an empath is similar to a highly sensitive person.
However, when people use the term “empath” to include mystical, paranormal, or spiritual abilities and connotations, this definition goes beyond what is included in the definition of high sensitivity used in psychological research. One label or the other may resonate more with you and your lived experiences, and that is totally ok.
Understanding Empaths vs Introverts
Empathy and introversion are two distinct descriptors that are often confused with one another. While they share some similarities, it's important to understand the differences between the two.
Empaths are people who are highly attuned to the emotions of others. They can easily pick up on other people's moods and feelings, and they often take on those emotions as if they were their own. Empaths can feel overwhelmed in large groups and may need plenty of alone time to recharge. They are highly sensitive individuals who often feel deeply and intensely.
On the other hand, introverts are people who prefer to spend time alone or in small groups. They may find social situations draining and need plenty of alone time to recharge. Introverts are often introspective individuals who enjoy reflection and contemplation. Introverts may be highly sensitive people, but not necessarily.
What is the Evidence for Empaths?
The concept of "empaths" as highly sensitive individuals with an exceptional ability to perceive and absorb the emotions of others is often discussed in popular culture and personal anecdotes. However, as noted above, it is important to note that the scientific community has not extensively studied or validated the specific construct of "empaths" as it is commonly portrayed.
It is worth noting that individual differences in sensitivity, personality traits, and emotional intelligence can contribute to variations in empathic responses. Some individuals may naturally possess a more finely attuned empathic capacity. While others may develop empathy through personal experiences, upbringing, or therapeutic interventions.
What About Introverts & Shyness?
Most HSPs are empaths, and vice-versa, but this is not necessarily the case. Additionally, many confuse both of these traits as introversion. About 70% of HSPS are introverts, meaning a good number are actually extroverts. However, an introvert is not necessarily highly sensitive or an empath. Introversion is well-known in part due to the Myers-Briggs personality test and the work of Carl Jung. Those with the introversion personality trait restore their energy best when alone. As their energy is drained by being around others.
Shyness Doesn’t Accurately Describe Empaths or Those That Are Highly Sensitive
Shyness may be a part of the experience of many individuals but does not accurately describe empaths or the highly sensitive. The term “shy” actually refers to the fear of social judgment. As an example, imagine yourself as a young child at a new school, being walked into the classroom at the start of the day.
There may be an element of shyness (fear of judgment by others). Imagine also the noise: the laughter and shouting, sounds of books and papers, desks and chairs squeaking on the floor. Imagine the sights: other children already playing with one another, bright fluorescent lights, walls filled with posters and words, lots of other people, and a room much bigger than you.
Imagine the energy and emotions in the room: playful chaos as the children connect in the morning, a welcoming smile from the teacher you just met, some curious eyes looking your way, and the knowledge that your parent will be leaving you there soon. All of this sensory input is received by the brain.
Empath vs Introvert vs Shy vs Sensitive
There are a number of different reactions and experiences someone might have in the situation described above.
The empath will be more sensitive to the emotions of others in the room.
The HSP will be more quickly overstimulated, leading to slower sensory processing, overwhelm, and greater difficulty in connecting with others at the moment.
The introvert will expend more energy in a crowded room and in interacting with others, so will need more recovery time.
The shy person will feel fear and anxiety at the prospect of being in an unfamiliar social situation. Or interacting with others in a social situation.
One or two of these may apply to you, or perhaps you see yourself as all of them — a shy, introverted, highly sensitive, empath!
Because typical traits of HSPs are not valued by popular culture, at least in the US. These individuals may hear and internalize negative labels at an early age. These may turn into thoughts such as “I am too _____.” Fill in the blank with sensitive, shy, afraid, neurotic, touchy, thin-skinned, withdrawn, or more.
Frustration from these internalized messages may come out as thoughts of “What is wrong with me?”, “Why can’t I just not be this way?”, “Why am I the only one bothered so much?”, or “Others had it a lot worse than me. Why am I the one depressed and anxious?” What does your inner critic say?
Recommended Read
“Why can’t I do what others have done—ignore the obvious. Live a normal life. It’s hard enough just to do that in this world.
— from Octavia Butler's Parable of the Sower
Octavia Butler explores the metaphor of empathy taken to a dangerous and vulnerable extreme in her award-winning Earthseed series. This powerful trilogy considers life as a hyper-empath, or “sharer,” and the double-edged sword it presents when fighting for survival.
Finding Support as a Highly Sensitive Person, Introvert, or Empath
While sensitivity may lead to behaviors or reactions such as shyness, low self-esteem, social withdrawal, and depression, this does not have to be the case. The downside of sensitivity can be managed and overcome with increased knowledge and understanding of self along with the development of more positive coping mechanisms.
Therapy for Empaths and HSPs
Psychotherapy for sensitive people can be an invaluable part of your journey to self-acceptance and living a full life as a highly sensitive empath. Additionally, tools such as mindfulness, meditation, affirmations, and nature walks can be helpful tools to integrate into daily life. A trained psychotherapist can be your guide to exploring and living into your gifts.
Ready to Begin HSP Therapy in Atlanta, GA?
Are you a highly sensitive person seeking therapy that understands and supports your unique needs? Embrace the transformative power of working with an HSP therapist at Heathy HSP who can provide you with a safe space to explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and thrive authentically. Start embracing your sensitivity as a strength by seeking HSP therapy. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Contact us to schedule your first appointment at Heathy HSP
Meet with one of our skilled HSP therapists for your first HSP session
Begin exploring your emotions and embrace your strengths as an HSP!
Other Services Offered at Healthy HSP
At Healthy HSP, we want to support you as a highly sensitive individual and embrace your strengths and emotions. So, in addition to HSP therapy, we also offer Sex & Intimacy Therapy for Highly Sensitive People to help you understand your highly sensitive traits and how they can impact your sexual experiences and relationships. We also offer Executive & Career Coaching for Sensitive Introverts in Tech for those looking to find support with a skilled coach and achieve their personal and career goals as sensitive introverts in tech. We are able to serve anyone online that lives in the state of Georgia or South Carolina. To learn more about us check out our Blog and About Us!
Are you Highly Sensitive? Consider participating in our HSP Voices Research Study.
Resources:
Aron, E. (2013). The Highly Sensitive Person. Citadel Press.
Orloff, J. (2018) The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. Sounds True.
