The Importance of Intimacy and Sexuality for Highly Sensitive People
For highly sensitive people (HSPs), intimacy and sexuality are both incredibly important. Before proceeding, it is worth taking a moment to understand the difference between these words. Which are often used interchangeably. Intimacy is defined as a close emotional connection between two people. Sexuality refers to how we experience and express our erotic energy within that relationship.
In order for you to create a satisfying intimate relationship with another person, both of these elements must be present in some form or another. However, HSPs can sometimes find themselves feeling like they lose their sense of self in the process of being intimate with others. Here are some ways HSPs can regain their sense of wholeness while still enjoying their relationships with the support of sex therapy:
HSPs are vulnerable to feeling like they are "too much" in their relationships.
As an HSP, you're more likely to feel like your partner doesn't understand you or that you are "too much" for them. While this may be true, it's important to remember that relationships are two-way streets. It can be especially difficult for HSPs because their sensitivity makes them want to please their partners and make sure they are happy. Which often leads them to ignore their own needs and desires.
That being said, if your partner is not a highly sensitive person (HSP), there's a chance they might not understand what it means to be in a relationship with someone who has high levels of sensory input and emotions. For example, you feel almost every emotion on an extremely high level. Therefore if something upsets or irritates you they may think that it's no big deal when really it is causing great stress inside yourself over time. Your partner could also feel smothered by all of the attention given toward him/herself by their HSP spouse/partner without realizing how important it would be for both parties involved here (not just one).
There will always come times when our significant others need space from us--and vice versa! It's important for both people involved in any relationship (especially those between two different genders)
HSPs can feel a loss of self because they want to make their partner happy.
HSPs can feel a loss of self because they want to make their partner happy. This can lead to sacrificing their own needs, which may create even more conflict in the relationship. HSPs often have difficulty saying no. So if your partner does not respect your boundaries or if you are feeling pressured by them, it is important to set clear limits.
HSPs tend to be happier when they're in a relationship because of the level of intimacy that it offers, but being with a person who is not sensitive can actually end up causing them stress.
When an HSP is in a relationship with someone who is not sensitive, they can experience a lot of stress. Here are some common scenarios that might happen:
The HSP gets overwhelmed by too much stimulation. If the non-sensitive person is constantly talking and making noise, it will be very difficult for the HSP to concentrate on their own thoughts and feelings.
The HSP gets overwhelmed by too much conflict. A non-sensitive partner may have trouble understanding why their mate doesn't want to talk about every little detail of their day or every thought that crosses their mind. It's also possible for them to be overly critical of the HSP's mistakes or shortcomings without realizing how painful this can be for them.
It is important for HSPs to have boundaries in relationships that allow them time and space for themselves.
It is important for HSPs to have boundaries in relationships that allow them time and space for themselves. That doesn't mean they must spend an hour a day alone. But most highly sensitive people need some personal time, even if it is only 20 minutes or so. They also need enough privacy with their partner so that they can be vulnerable without fear of being judged or rejected.
This does not mean that highly sensitive persons do not like spending time with others or having intimate relationships; rather, it means that when these things happen too often, the HSP feels overwhelmed by the demands made upon them on a regular basis and may withdraw from other people altogether (get more details here).
Highly sensitive people who are also introverts may find it easier to maintain their own schedule, but if the partner is an extrovert, this can lead to relationship dissatisfaction.
You may find that your partner feels left out of your life when you need time alone to recharge or to process thoughts and feelings. This is because the HSP needs time alone to explore their own thoughts, while the extrovert needs to be with people in order to feel energized.
It is important for introverted HSPs to consider whether they have met all their emotional needs before entering into a relationship with an extrovert. If not, it could lead to relationship dissatisfaction as well as feelings of guilt on both sides; this can result in resentment, anger, or depression if not dealt with properly during the early stages of dating/courtship
Many HSPs often spend their days tending to the needs of others and need a partner who understands that a lot of alone time might be necessary.
Many HSPs choose to help professions in fields such as counseling, massage therapy, and healthcare. Of course, HSPs can be found in any number of fields, but often take on a quiet leadership role, often serving as the “glue” or a grounding force for the team. This stabilizing and empathetic presence requires a lot of energy to maintain. After the work day, an HSP may need a little extra time alone to recharge and be fully present with others.
It's also important to note that HSPs can be in relationships with both other HSPs and non-HSPs. You don't have to wait for someone else who gets you and fully understands the HSP trait in order to feel comfortable with your sensitivity—it is possible to love yourself enough so that you are able to love someone else (or maybe many someone’s!).
The Importance of Connection for HSPs
Even though there are many ways for HSPs to express themselves sexually, it is important not to lose sight of what you want out of your personal life: intimacy. Being able to explore different types of human connection without judgment or fear is an important part of being human.
If you are an HSP and feel like you've lost your sense of self in a relationship, you should take some time away from your partner to develop your own interests, hobbies, and goals and then go back into the relationship feeling better about yourself. This can help you set healthier boundaries with your partner while still maintaining intimacy.
For example: If you're both very sensitive people, then it may be difficult to set boundaries because everything is so intense. If one person’s needs have been dominant for a while, a sense of imbalance can set in. The other partner may start to feel drained and resentful if their own needs are not being fully met. In addition to time for connection, it is important that each person develop their own interests and learn how they best replenish their energy when drained. This may be as simple as a walk outside, reading a book, taking a nap, or creating artwork.
There is no One Size Fits All Activity For HSPs
There is no “one size fits all” self-care activity or a set amount of time that is needed. Each person will need to learn their own patterns - thoughts, emotions, body sensations - that provide clues to when we are hitting the point of overload or shut down. Trust in your partner and communication is important here. Check-in with your partner and honestly communicate about your needs. Over time you’ll better understand how much time apart you need before re-engaging in time together.
This dance between time together and time apart can help maintain healthy boundaries in addition to creating intimate moments between partners who value each other but also need individuality.
Couples who understand how highly sensitive partners operate in relationships can achieve higher levels of intimacy than couples where one or both partners do not understand this concept
Having an insight into how high sensitivity shows up in relationships is like having an operating manual with a troubleshooting section. Without this understanding, it can take a lot longer (and be much more confusing) for a non-HSP to relate to and understand their HSP partner. Some ways that HSP
The highly sensitive person is more aware of their environment, including the people and things around them. This can make an HSP more susceptible to feeling overstimulated in relationships. When this happens, the HSP might feel overwhelmed by the stimuli that are present in the relationship—whether it be physical or emotional.
Being an HSP means that you're also likely to have deeper feelings for your partner than they do for you (or vice versa). This can be especially true if both partners are highly sensitive individuals who want to make sure their needs are met; however, if one or both partners aren't aware of how something may feel too much for another person (given their sensitivity), then problems may arise when either party feels unfulfilled because there was no way for them to express those needs without hurting someone else's feelings or causing additional stress within their relationship.
HSPs have a higher level of empathy and in relationships, this can sometimes show up as people-pleasing or codependent behavior. The HSP partner may deny or ignore their own needs in the belief that they are helping their partner (or saving them from a burden). In actuality, this pattern of codependence actually blocks intimacy, which requires openness and vulnerability.
Being in a relationship as an HSP can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be. Understanding what your needs are and communicating them with your loved ones is key. If you feel like you've lost who you are in the relationship, consider working with an HSP-knowledgeable therapist to reconnect with your own needs. Self-trust, self-esteem, and self-compassion are key ingredients to creating a satisfying, pleasurable, authentic, and intimate bond with a loved one.
If you are highly sensitive, we invite you to participate in our HSP Voices Research Study.
Ready to Begin Sex Therapy in Atlanta, GA?
Discover the transformative power of sex therapy tailored for Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) at Healthy HSP. Intimacy is a vital aspect of human connection, and our specialized approach will help you navigate the unique challenges of being an HSP in cultivating fulfilling and meaningful relationships. Embrace a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs, and embark on a journey towards a more fulfilling and intimate life by scheduling a session. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Contact us to schedule your first sex therapy for HSPs appointment
Meet with one of our skilled HSP sexual therapists for your first session
Begin creating more fulfilling and meaningful relationships as an HSP!
Other Services Offered at Healthy HSP
At Healthy HSP, we want to help you thrive as a highly sensitive individual. So, in addition to sex therapy for HSPs, we also offer HSP Therapy to help you understand your highly sensitive traits and embrace your sensitivity. We also offer Specialized Coaching for Sensitive Individuals for those looking to find support with a skilled coach and achieve their personal and career goals as sensitive introverts. We are able to serve anyone online that lives in the state of Georgia or South Carolina. To learn more about us check out our Blog and About Us!
